


Who Knew

by Caidyn



Series: Love and Death [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First War with Voldemort, M/M, Marauders' Era, One-Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caidyn/pseuds/Caidyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is late and Remus doesn't know where he is. When a sudden phone call interupts him everything turns a different way and he thunders through the path of how war can destroy things you hold dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Title was picked from the song Who Knew by P!nk and whole idea of the song is heavily focused on Forever and Always by Parachute.

"Sirius Orion Black where the hell are you?" 

He was late... again. The man was almost always late -- something Remus didn't like having to get used to -- but this time something was wrong. It was hours since his best friend and lover Sirius Black should have gotten home. Usually he wasn't this late. It was wartime outside these days. Half the time he didn't want him to leave their small apartment where they lived in silence and in hope that no one would come knocking on their door to look for them. Already they had lost so many people, friends of theirs that had died fighting for what they believed in. James and Lily, his two best friends, were in hiding because of this single war. Eventually everyone would be lost from fear alone.

His dark brown eyes fell from the window to the table that he was sitting at. Across from him was a now cold cup of tea that he had made for Sirius for when he got home. It had been a couple of days since he had last seen him; the man had been sent on a mission to find and destroy something. What it was over he wasn't too sure since the details were kept up in Sirius's head for the most part. It wasn't like him to not be here this late. Darkness was starting to descend over the sleepy town that they were living in.

Remus began to tap out a frantic beat on the table with his fingers. He just wanted Sirius home and sleeping next to him. "Maybe I got the dates wrong. That's probably it. I do stupid things like that all the time," he told himself softly. Standing from the table he grabbed the cold cup. Deep down in his bones he could feel that something was wrong. The feeling was rising up from deep within. Shattering the quietness of his staring at the cup the phone that they had hooked up in the hall rang. With mug and hand he walked out to grab it. 

"Hello, Sirius is that you?" 

Please let it be him. Let it be something.

"Am I speaking to a Mr. Remus Lupin?" The voice didn't belong to Sirius, it didn't belong to anyone that he knew. The voice chilled him to the bone.

"Yes, yes you are. May I ask who's calling?" Remus closed his eyes, swallowing hard. His heart had moved up to his throat making it hard for him to swallow even though there was no spit left in his mouth.

"This is Alba Louis. I'm a nurse at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injures. There's a Mr. Sirius Black here tonight. All he's asking for is you." The cup in Remus's hand plummeted to the floor. At impact it shattered. Cold tea splattered across the wooden floor. 

For once, he could care less. Something was wrong. His face drained of color as he stood there in a shocked silence. "Hello? Mr. Lupin are you still there?" Her voice sounded like a million drums in his ear. Every thing had slowed down to an impossibly slow pace. At last he fell to the floor, landing on his bum. "Hello? Sir, are you still there?"

"Yes," he finally replied in a quiet voice, "I'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you for calling." Before getting an answer from Ms. Louis he hung up the phone. That same stunned silence fell over him. He could feel himself freezing up in that position on the floor. The clock ticking in the background was the only thing that told him that time was passing by him. 

Each moment could be spent at Sirius's side and not on that floor next to the tea he would clean up when he got home with Sirius. Lifting a hand from his lap he ran it slowly through his hair only to pause halfway through. A feeling as though someone punched him rippled through his body, tearing him up all at once.

"No. This can't be happening," he said in a broken voice. Hot tears were filling his eyes as he tilted his head to look at the ceiling above his head. Quickly it blurred. "James and Sirius are pulling a prank on me or something." That option didn't even seem like his two friends; Sirius would disagree to anything that would hurt Remus in the end and James wouldn't want to make his friend upset. 

In an abrupt burst of anger he slammed the phone down to the ground. A tiny part of it broke off to begin floating in the tea still spreading across the floor. Remus leaned forward to pinch the bridge of his nose. For a small moment he pushed back everything in him that was saying to let it out. He couldn't listen to that because he knew that once he started he would never be able to stop.

Emotions sucked back in and burning a hole deep in his chest he stood from the ground. Without bothering to clean up or make sure that he looked at least decent he apparated to the designated space in St. Mungo's. From there his feet carried him to the floor that he needed. It was the floor that held the worst injuries. Most of the people held here never saw day with living eyes again. Remus took a deep and shaky breath. Sirius will make it. He has to. He walked up to the nurse's center. 

"Hello, I'm Remus Lupin," he told the nurse there "I was called to visit a Mr. Siri-"

"Yes, right this way." 

The woman who sounded like she had been on the phone with him stood from the desk and walked in a direction. As quickly as he could he followed her. Each step he took, he memorized so next time he could just go back there and not wait for her to escort him there himself. "Right in here. And sir, I'm just warning you now that he's bad." 

Lightly she placed a hand on his arm before leaving him there. His imagination got the better of him. Is he missing limbs? Did something collapse in him? What if they can't do anything? The worries and questions bubbled up inside of him, leaving him breathless for a few long moments before he reached a shaking hand out to open the door.

Remus entered, glancing around. There was no one else in there. How long had Sirius been alone? On the bed there was a broken looking man. He wasn't broken in the way that his body was in a cast, but there were heavy bandages that were covering his chest. The reason of them he wasn't too sure of yet. On that bed the man looked smaller and weaker than he had ever seen him. "Hey," he finally said in a hoarse voice. The dark-haired man turned his head, his grey eyes fixing on Remus. The dullness that had been in them before washed away at a mere sight of him.

"Remus, I thought they'd never get you." Hearing that voice almost made him turn back and walk out the way he had come from. The person laying on the bed didn't even sound like his Sirius. Instead of turning his back and running he walked further into the room so he was at the foot of Sirius's bed.

"What happened? I haven't heard what happened yet. I just want to know."

Sirius moved over a bit on the bed; that was his silent way of saying that he wanted Remus on the bed with him. In this case he was slightly afraid to say yes to that request. The man looked completely broken with those bandages practically covering all of his chest. Slowly and cautiously he got on the bed to grab the hand closest to him in a tight grip. 

The dark-haired wizard set his head on Remus's shoulder. "I was going into a room of the place we were sent to and I didn't look around too much since I couldn't hear anything. When I started to explore the room for anything something hit me from behind. I fell over, of course, but saw Bellatrix fleeing. I don't know what she hit me with but I couldn't stop bleeding. And I still can't stop bleeding, but I'm sure they can fix me up."

For the second time that day everything froze in Remus. He didn't know how to speak or even answer. The only thing that was racing through his head was the question on how Sirius could be acting like this was okay. Not being able to stop bleeding was a dangerous thing to deal with. What if they couldn't fix him? Fear penetrated every part of him, seeping through his body and making his heart start beating faster. He didn't want to lose Sirius. "I'm sure they can," he said in an extremely soft voice. The hand he was holding squeezed his reassuringly; the grip was weak. This wasn't his Sirius. The man laying next to him was extremely pale and seeming weaker and weaker as time went by. "Remember when we talked about how we're going to find somewhere else to live when the war ends?"

"Yeah, I do; a little place in the country so you don't have to worry about your furry little problem in the city. I would like to live in the country. It's always so open and I can just run around myself in the fields." Sirius got that dreamy look on his face. Gently Remus leaned down to press a light kiss to his lips. Even though it had been a few days since they had last seen each other it felt like it had been longer. Pulling away after a moment he let his lips ghost over Sirius's. "And we can stay there forever," his friend finished softly.

"That sounds perfect." Remus lifted his free hand up and began to mess with Sirius's hair, trying to get it to lie better on his head. "It'd be perfect for my little problem." He pressed a kiss to his cheek, exactly on the pronounced bone. "But I'd live anywhere if you asked me to. Anywhere at all. Even a box I'd probably break."

Sirius chuckled. "Oh, you would, would you? I'll have you tied to the bed when we get home." He chuckled again at the blush on Remus's cheeks. "You're too damn cute. But tying you up just sounds fun. I mean there's so many things I can do; tickle you, sit on you and make you listen to me babble, or, if you're lucky, naughty things will happen." He winked but it was ruined by a cough. Then another. And another. It sounded as if he was trying to cough something up. The coughs weren't stopping. When the man finally calmed down there was a little something on his lip. And that something was red.

From where Remus was he could smell the copper. It was blood. For a few seconds he couldn't breath, think, or speak at all. Finally he said, "Nurse! Nurse I think something's wrong!" Sirius looked as if he wanted to say something but he was coughing too hard still. More of those little red bits were coming up and coloring wherever they hit. Fast footsteps were heard as Sirius's face turned red. From the corner of his mouth a bit of the red dribbled out. Remus stood from the bed to watch with a mixture of wonder and horror on his face. The nurse came into the room and her face mirrored Remus's.

"Doctor! There's a situation!" She quickly shooed Remus away further to sit Sirius up. Her fast hand patted and rubbed his back as if to get something out. A man rushed in who had a stereotypical white doctor's coat. His eyes widened a bit as he looked at him.

"Nurse I need you to take off his dressings so I can check." The woman followed the command. Remus had moved back to put his back against a wall. His heart was pounding in his chest. There were deep slashes on his lover's chest that weren't healed. They looked angry to him from just how red they were. "He's suffering from internal bleeding. There's nothing we can do about that." The doctor simply just looked Sirius over. "The coughing is going to get worse until..." 

Remus closed his eyes. Until what? Even though he didn't want to believe what he had figured out by just the look on the man's face who was checking Sirius. The coughing finally ended that pushed the room into a deathly silence.

The doctor left to leave the nurse to redress Sirius's wounds. Remus finally opened his eyes to look at the man. He was breathing heavily and his face was a deathly pale that only made the little speckles of red stand out further. When the nurse left Remus approached again. Sitting in a chair he sat and took the man's hand in one of his clammy ones. He knew he was holding the hand too tight. It just felt like that if he loosened his grip at all Sirius would float away. Using his sleeve he wiped away all the blood that was covering his face. "There," he said in a shaky voice. Clearing his throat he gathered up his strength. "You look better already."

Sirius laughed softly. "Do I," he asked hoarsely.

"Yeah, you really do." That earned him a smile that faded away quickly. Remus tried to commit it to memory before it was gone.

From what he had gathered there was no hope. The wounds weren't going to heal and the internal bleeding was bad. What spell that Bellatrix used did enough damage that was irreversible. Remus felt afraid again. He was trying to tell a man whose fate was already known that he was going to be okay when he was lying. Closing his eyes again he put his forehead against their hands that were holding each other. He could feel that Sirius had barely any grip at all. The man was losing what made him, him. "I love you so much Sirius. I love you, I love you, I love you."

"You don't have to say it so much Moony. I know that you love me."

As usual Sirius didn't seem to get why he was saying it so much. Only once before had he said it this much. That had been when he had hurt the man during a transformation and they had to go to Madam Pomfrey to make sure he was okay and hadn't gotten bitten. Remus bit down on his bottom lip while he tried to concentrate on not crying. "How about we talk about our future after the war. This is a dreary place and I'd rather not talk about what's going to happen to me," the man suggested in as strong a voice as he could manage.

"Alright. We talked about our little house we'll get in the countryside where no one will be able to find us. I don't think we talked about after that, love." Remus lifted his head to look straight into the dull grey eyes that he still loved so much.

"The kids. I know you really don't want any, but I do. A little boy that I could teach all my mischief to. Maybe we could even give him the little map we made so he always knows where to go. He and James's kid, or kids, because he's bound to have them with fair Lily, will be best friends." 

The picture painted in his head of a little boy with his light brown hair and Sirius's grey eyes running around the little field just laughing as if nothing was wrong with life sprung into his head. Sirius would be an amazing father while Remus would probably get stuck with more of the housework since he had grown up doing it. "Since neither of us have the ability to carry a child we'll have to adopt." The man had another dreamy smile on his face. Yet another thing Remus tried to commit to memory.

Sirius coughed again, more blood coming up. Again Remus wiped it away with his sleeve. His dark brown eyes raked over the man's body; already there was blood starting to bleed through the bandages on his chest. When Sirius couldn't stop coughing, he sat the man up and started hitting his back just as the nurse had done. Remus bit down on his bottom lip to contain the lump that was growing in his throat against his will. Running his hand up and down Sirius's back he tried to help him breath again. "And there we go," he whispered. Little by little he moved him back down to lay down. "How about you go to sleep? When we get out of here you're going to need your strength."

The man mumbled something that he couldn't understand as his eyes closed. Remus started smoothing down the hair again and pressing light kisses to anywhere that he could reach. Against him Sirius started falling asleep and snoring as well. Under any other situation he would have started laughing and plugged his nose to make him stop, but now he was treasuring the noise. 

Who knew how much longer he might have to hear that noise? Reveling in it he closed his eyes and fought back a wave of sadness. It crashed against his insides, making his heart even hurt and his head spin. There was a quiet knock that jolted him out of his thoughts. Opening his eyes he saw the same doctor that had helped only a few minutes ago. The man motioned for him to come before stepping out of the doorway.

Remus pressed a kiss to the sleeping figure on the bed whispering, "I'll be back in just a second," before standing and walking out. Running a quick hand through his hair he looked at the man.

"I'm Dr. Chilton. You're Mr. Lupin, correct." After he got a quick nod he continued, "I understand that you're not family but we tried to contact his and they don't seem to care  
about him too much."

"A few years ago they disowned him for certain reasons."

"Um-hmm. I am telling you this under complete trust that you're not going to go in there and tell him, can you do that? He's dying and he won't last long. At most it will be until tonight but it could be a few minutes. He suffered from deep slashes on his chest that we can't seem to find a way to stop. He's also suffering internal bleeding from those same cuts. We want his time left here to be enjoyable so just stay by his side since he seems more animated when you arrived." Dr. Chilton placed a light hand on Remus's shoulder. "I'm very sorry for having to be the one who had to tell you this. I wish that I didn't even have to tell you this." Giving him that sad smile that all doctors could conjure up when the time was needed for it and walked off, his hand slipping off of the shoulder it had been positioned on

Remus's face had paled considerably. He should have figured that this was to happen. 

Nothing good in his life lasted for too long. That was a true fact in his life. At least he had Sirius for a friend for over seven years and as a significant other for over two. Numbly he walked back into the room and sat down in the chair. For a long moment he stared at the sleeping man. His hair was just a bit over one eye to block a whole side of his face from view. The snores had given over to soft breathing noises. Sirius was completely asleep. The only thing that punctuated the peaceful silence was the beeping of the monitor that he was hooked up to. It was a steady beeping which, hopefully, meant a good thing.

Lightly he pushed the hair from Sirius's eyes. His fingers trailed lightly down his face, tracing the strong jaw line. Remus wanted to commit his whole body to memory since this was all he was going to have left. The news was leaving him completely numb but with a hollow pit in the middle of his chest. Taking Sirius's hand in his he cupped the other over his own forehead.

For a long moment he stayed silent, holding everything back again. Taking a shuddery breath out tears began slipping out. Hotly they moved down his cheeks staining what they touched a darker color. The hand holding Sirius's gripped it tightly. There was a soft noise that sounded like someone jerking into wakefulness. A hand moved the hand that was covering his face. "Hey," Sirius quietly said, "It's alright. I'm going to be okay." He brushed away the tears gently before pressing his lips against Remus's. Fingers tangled in the light brown hair.

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius's neck to hold him there. He could taste the iron of blood and the essence of the man. Then the coughing began again, forcing him to pull away. He glanced down at the bandages to see them with blood soaking through more than before. Looking back to Sirius's face he saw more of the demonic red coming up. The light was fading in the grey eyes. "No don't you leave me," he said in a voice that was close to hysterical. "I love you Sirius. Please don't leave me!"

Someone must have heard them because footsteps came in the room. Strong arms pulled him back. His hand was wrenched out of Sirius's. "NO! Sirius!" His voice was high in pitch as he continued to practically scream out the words as he tried reaching out for the man. Sirius turned his head to look at him and tried saying something through the coughing. When the coughing stopped abruptly and a few seconds later the machine started making insane beeping sounds he knew it was over.

Sinking down to the floor he felt sobs shaking his body. The taste of Sirius was still in his mouth and the feel of his lips on his own still ghosted. 

Who knew what war could take. And who knew how fast it could go.


End file.
